Why We Need Pride In Jerusalem

Too many people have asked me that question, so here’s your answer.

I am so incredibly proud to be a resident of Jerusalem right now. For one shining moment, no matter who you are – gay, lesbian, bi, trans, queer, pan, in, out, religious, secular, in between…for one moment you can just live in a bubble of freedom and acceptance. If you are at the parade you are cool by definition. For one blissful afternoon you can live your life without fear of judgment, discrimination, and violence. You can walk through the streets of this holy city and be totally free.

But here’s the catch: One afternoon every year or two is not enough. We march because we have the guts to expect more than that.

Before I go on about how much fun the parade was, I’d like to clear up a few misconceptions about the event itself. Some people feel that the Pride Parade is not appropriate in Jerusalem, the holy city. I’d like to clarify why I believe that there is no place more appropriate than Jerusalem, the capital of Israel.

  1. A religious man marches wearing a Gay Pride flag with Star of David, a mix of Pride and the Israeli flag.

     Inappropriate dress. This is not true for the Jerusalem Pride Parade. Out of 3,000 people, there were only two men who were not wearing shirts. And a male to female transgender in a dress does not count as cross dressing.

  2. Public Display of Affection. Again, out of 3,000 people I saw one couple kissing and a few couples holding hands. Yeah, PDA is gross! But straight PDA is not any less gross than gay PDA.

  3. It’s a secular event. In case you aren’t familiar with the demographics of Jerusalem, a large percentage of the population here are religious Jews / Christians / Muslims / Other. The Pride Parade was packed with kippas and tzitzit, skirts and hair coverings – our symbols of a religious lifestyle. Some of them are out of the closet religious people, some are straight supporters. There were far too many religious people at the parade to say that it is not relevant in a largely religious city.

  4. It’s a sex parade. It’s not. In Jerusalem, it’s a protest. We march for social change. We march because we deserve to live a life without violence, discrimination at work or anywhere else. We deserve health and marriage equality. And we’re not going to get those things by sitting down and being quiet.

In case you still aren’t convinced, let me address a specific moment of the parade. As we marched down Ramban street – which borders on a mainly religious neighborhood but does not go through it – somebody threw a stink bomb. I have to admit I was impressed. It seems like it would take quite a lot of premeditation and preparation to do such a thing. It seems like an enormous amount of energy to waste on hating someone. I’m glad to report that the person who did it was arrested while the parade was still going on, and what a shame, in the end he just stank up his own street.

Seriously, though. It wasn’t as if we didn’t know that was coming. It’s not the first time that has happened. Don’t you think it takes a good deal of courage and purpose to walk down the roads when you know you could be hit by a bag of someone else’s crap? So it smelled a little bad. It stopped no one. The parade marched on. Honestly, what’s a little stink bomb to the LGBT community, who endures far worse on a daily basis?

With that in mind, let’s not forget that a lot of people who march in the parade are not L, G, B, T or Q, but they recognize that this is a protest for human rights. The needs of the LGBT community are relevant to straight people as well. Because bullying and violence, discrimination based on race or gender, hate crimes, equality in health care and marriage are issues that hit every one of us close to home, regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation.

So next year, pick a basic human right you feel you need, make a rainbow colored sign and come march with us. And if you feel you enjoy complete freedom and full human rights, come get your face painted and stand up for someone who doesn’t.

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Why I’m So Vocal About LGBT Equality

A few weeks ago I was sitting in the cafeteria with a friend from university who accused me of posting on Facebook only about calculus. “That’s not true!” I protested, “There are plenty of posts about same-sex marriage!” “Oh,” he said, “I didn’t know you were – like that.” “Like what?” I asked, and he just giggled and couldn’t answer me. I’m not gay. I guess that’s why it’s confusing that every other post is somehow related to the topic.

I’m not gay. I’m bi. (That’s the B in LGBT.) Which means I also date guys, so it’s easy to just assume that I’m straight. This is a phenomenon we refer to as bisexual erasure.

Recently people have been asking me why I post so often about LGBTQ rights. Each time I struggle with finding an appropriate answer, so I hope this blog post will do it justice.

My knee-jerk reaction is to just say, some of my best friends are gay. It’s true. And I see what they go through, I hear their cry, and that’s what drives me to write. The suffering my friends endure at the hands of their own community is unimaginable.

I’m going to be cliché and tie it down to the upcoming holiday. On Passover (which starts Monday night) we are supposed to acknowledge that we were once slaves and show gratitude for our freedom. The Jews have a long history of being tortured and enslaved. We know what it’s like to have to hide our identity, to practice in secret, to be forced to convert. We dip parsley in salt water as a symbol of the tears we shed under these circumstances. And since the tradition is all about asking questions, here’s mine: Why do we do this to people? Why are gay and lesbians in the orthodox community forced to hide their identity, or try to “convert?”

Even though I wear jeans, it’s obvious that I grew up in a religious community. So often I’ve encountered accusations like, “Why do you block the roads on Saturday?” (although obviously I have never done any such thing). We can’t avoid being judged, but I don’t want people to think that I’m hateful and homophobic just because I grew up religious. As Jews (and as human beings), it is our responsibility to make justice where we see injustice. Forcing someone to try to change their sexual orientation, to marry a person they are not attracted to, or isolate them from the community because of who they are is doing them an injustice. The holiday of passover is about opening our doors to those who are hungry and including those who are left out. It’s about giving freedom to those who are in slavery, because we once were slaves and we remember what it was like. What better place to start than with our own friends and family? We are supposed to view ourselves each as a slave who was set free. So let’s take action and give that freedom to our gay and lesbian friends.

!לשנה הבאה בני חורין